Christmas & Chill
by dznyprincess7
Summary: When Ariana Grande is face to face with the boy who broke her heart last Christmas, will she give him another chance or leave him out in the cold?
1. Last Christmas

Ariana felt a little silly as she sat at her baby grand piano in her new home studio, listening to the track she'd just recorded. This one would never hit iTunes or be included on any holiday EP's. It was just for her, a love letter for a guy who had walked out of her life a long time ago. It felt stupid listening to her own song all by herself, but she wasn't ready for anyone to hear this one. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

The clock read 2am and Ariana could see the lights twinkling on her Christmas tree through the glass window of her studio. She pulled her feet up onto the chair, decked out in a cheetah print onesie. She knew it was officially Christmas now. She knew she'd just finished a great song and she knew she should be happy, but in the quietness of the moment, all she felt was sad. All she could think about was last Christmas and how heartbroken she'd been when she woke to find the boy of her dreams gone from her side forever. She thought she'd feel better a year later. She'd tried dating other guys, tried being single, tried throwing herself into her music, but at the end of the day, she just missed him.

 _Knock. Knock._

Normally it was next to impossible to hear a knock on the front door in this part of the house but with it dead quiet, the quiet sound echoed like a gong. Ariana scrambled to her feet and pushed open the studio door, racing across the hardwood floor before her mom, her Nona or her other brother Frankie yelled at her for having friends over at 2am. She didn't even know who it was. She certainly wasn't expecting anyone.

Whoever it was knocked again. Ariana swore under her breath. Calm the frick down, goddammit. She was on her way.

She finally slid into the entryway, flicked on the porch light and jerked open the door.

"Why the hell-" Ariana wanted to finish her question, she did, but there he was with that messy brown hair and blue green eyes, standing on her doorstep like he'd been invited.

He looked embarrassed as he cracked a smile and slipped his hands in his pockets. "Hey Ari. You been alright?"


	2. A Million Things

Ariana felt a million things at the sound of that familiar British accent. She knew she should throw Nathan out or demand answers but she stood there like an idiot as he walked inside the house and shut the door behind them.

"What are you doing here?: She hissed.

"I might have gotten a little lost on my way back to the UK," he admitted.

There was a million things Ariana wanted to ask or say or yell at him about but instead she found herself asking if he wanted coffee. He did… of course.

As she lead him back through the house, there were a million things she tried not to notice. The fact that his smile hadn't changed, for one, or that he still smelled the same-clean and slightly spicy with a hint of mint. The way his eyes swept over the room was another.

Nathan slipped off his coat deftly and folded it in half before laying it carefully over the back of the couch. Ariana couldn't help but notice his classy white button-up and dark-wash jeans which in contrast to her onesie made her feel about three years old.

She walked into the kitchen and flipped on the lights. Nathan followed close behind and watched as she tried to make coffee. She'd made coffee a hundred times before but for some reason, she suddenly couldn't remember how to work the Keurig machine. When Nathan took over for her, she gripped the side of her plush pants to hide how much her hands were shaking.

"So, uh, how have you been?" she asked once the silence between them became overwhelmingly awkward.

"Good," he said in a way that made it hard to believe him. "My new single's doing pretty well. Still miss the band sometimes."

She heard his words but strained instead for the meaning behind them, a hint of why he was here tonight. Most of all she listening to the rhythm of his voice and realized how at home it made her feel. She was breathing deeper than she had in months.

"Are there mugs?" he asked and both their hands darted for the nearest cabinet.

As his soft skin brushed against hers, she jerked her hand back and pretended not to notice her racing heart. Maybe she was dreaming. That was the only explanation for why Nathan was in her kitchen making her a cup of coffee at 2am. Stuff like that didn't happen in real life.

When the Keurig machine stopped bubbling, Ariana took her cup of coffee and Nathan followed her back to the living room. She sat down on the couch, tucking one leg underneath the other and he sat down across from her. He took a sip from his coffee, the steam clouding his face but his eyes never leaving hers.

"How have you been?" he asked, putting weight behind every word.

She shook her head and laughing, wishing they were home alone so she could scream at him or throw a coffee mug at his head. "You don't get to show up and just ask me that."

In an instant she flashed back to last year-red wine and matching footie pajamas, falling tipsy into bed together, snuggling under the quilt Nana made her when she was a kid, kissing until they fell asleep. It was the perfect Christmas Eve and he ruined it without an explanation.

Ariana's eyes flushed with hot tears as she focused back on the present, on the boy sitting across from her, and asked in an angry whisper, "Why did you leave?"


	3. Break Your Heart Right Back

"Because I'm an idiot," Nathan answered honestly. "Because I started thinking about our future and all that time spent on opposite sides of the globe and I freaked out."

Nathan wished there was some way for him to put into words how much he regretted leaving Ariana last Christmas. How he'd regretted the decision as soon as he snuck out of her house at sunset Christmas morning. How he got into his car and cried all the way to the airport. How he knew he screwed up as he boarded the plane but was too scared to turn back, the aching way he'd missed her every day since.

"That was a year ago," Ariana said. "I called, Nath. I texted. And you had our manager tell me what to say to the press about the breakup we never had."

Nathan bit his lip. "I told you I was an idiot."

"Well, what the hell took you so long to figure it out?" She snapped.

"You were happy." Tiny tears pooled in the corner of Nathan's eyes. "Who was I to ruin that?"

"I was happy?" Ariana repeated, unable to believe her ears.

After Nathan walked out on her, Ariana got back together with her ex, broke up with him, started dating someone knew and had a very public breakup with him before taking an official "no boys" stance and throwing herself into workaholic mode, trying to pretend everything was okay until a stupid mistake landed her in the public eye for a scandal everyone dubbed "Donutgate." She'd been a mess. She was still a mess.

She pasted on a smile. "I am happy."

"You're supposed to be in Europe," he said.

"So are you," she shot back.

That shut him up. Sure, she'd canceled the rest of her world tour but it had nothing to do with him. Plus he was blowing off his family Christmas. That was cause for some serious eyebrow raising.

Pausing for a long sip from her cup of coffee, Ariana wondered if Nathan had actually played a part in her decision to come home. She was up at 2am on Christmas recording a song about him after all.

It had been easy to justify the move back home. She had been working so hard for so long. She had an album to finish and a home studio to enjoy. When the terrorists attacks happened in Paris and everyone was warned not to travel, it was easy to join the ranks of pop stars canceling or postponing the international legs of their tours.

Now sitting here face to face with Nathan, she knew he never bought into the bullshit she'd been selling to everyone, even herself. There was something about that that was somehow equally comforting and ridiculously irritating.

"I was supposed to go home," Nathan admitted. "But I couldn't leave L.A. without making sure you were okay."

"That's not your job anymore," she said slowly, her voice shaking with anger. "And I'm sorry but I don't give a rat's ass that you stopped by because you were doing a radio show in L.A. Our relationship has always been on your terms. It's always worked when it was convenient for you. As soon as one of us has to go on tour again, you'll disappear. I'm not doing this again."

"I lost you once." He leaned forward, trying desperately to make her understand. "I won't make that mistake again."

Ariana shook her head and stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom. I want you gone by the time I get back."


	4. For the Love of Music

Nathan had no intention of leaving. Still he got up and walked into the room behind the couch. He remembered cuddling on the couch last year with Ariana and listening to her dream out loud about putting in a recording studio so she could do what she loved without leaving the house or even having to put on pants. He couldn't believe she'd actually done it.

The studio was amazing, adorable just like Ariana but also such a fun, intimate space for creating art. He could only imagine the beautiful music that was going to come out of this place. As he sat down at the piano, it hit him like a wave how much he missed hearing her sing. Her voice was incredibly and to watch her perform, to see the passion and pure joy on her face, was a truly priceless experience.

He loved her. It had just taken him way too long to realize it.

He didn't even think before his fingers found the pure white piano keys, sliding across the smooth ivory, and began to play. It was the song the media had buzzed about, the one they still hadn't heard. The song about Ari. The label wasn't sure it'd make a good single. It wasn't upbeat enough or bitchy enough or sing-along kind of catchy. Nathan didn't mind. Every time the release was pushed back was a little longer the song got to belong to him. He didn't have to deal with everyone else's interpretations and opinions. He didn't have to explain himself, what his felt, what had happened between them. It just was.

Ariana slipped in quietly through the door so he wouldn't hear her. She should have known better than to assume he would actually leave. He was stubborn when it came to things he was passionate about, she knew that. It was one of the many reasons she fell for him in the first place. Another was that ridiculous voice, soulful and earnest, full of honesty and passion. She'd never heard a piano respond to anyone the way pianos did for him. She'd also been jealous of that.

And clearly he hadn't lost his touch. The song he was playing was pure musical poetry. The lyrics coming out of his mouth were beautiful too in a heartbreaking kind of way.

He finished the song and Ariana started clapping slowly. He turned around and turned bright red.

"Sorry," he apologized in that perfect British accent of his. "You know I can't resist a beautiful piano."

"It's okay," she said softly. "That piano deserved it after all I've been putting it through."

"I'm sure it's been spoiled plenty." He assured her, then paused. "Can I hear some of your new stuff?"

There were a million reasons why she should say no, not the least being that she had technically already kicked him out of the house and of course that amazing piece of music he had just finished playing for her. But for some reason she suddenly wanted him to hear it. She needed him to tell her she'd gotten better, that he loved the new music.

She walked over to the console and pressed play then winced as the song she'd just finished recording came out of the speakers. The song about Nathan. She knew it would be too hard now to switch songs without looking like a total doofus so she pulled her hands off of the controls and let it play.

Nathan got up off of the piano bench and sat down in one of the swivel chairs closer to the console. He folded his hands together and leaned over the board, listening intently to every note, every voice inflection, every lyric, his head nodding ever so slightly. Ariana knew his opinion didn't matter. He was just her ex, not some music executive or close friend. But she still found it hard to breathe as she watched him listen to her song. Her eyes roved his face, his hands, even his tapping toe for some indication of what he was thinking, but the results were inconclusive.

When the song finally ended, she crawled into the other swivel chair and pushed it until its armrest banged into the one on his chair. She searched into his eyes and asked, "So?"

He didn't answer, just pulled her close. And when her hand found its way to the back of his neck, he bowed his head and pressed his lips gently to hers.


	5. Merry Christmas

Ariana's heart beat twice as fast it usually did as she lead Nathan to her bedroom, his warm hand wrapped securely around hers. She eased open the door and flipped on the light and it was is if nothing existed in the room except her bed. She eased the bedroom door closed again, careful not to wake anyone else up, and let Nathan lead her to the bed. He tugged the ponytail holder from her hair and buried his hand in the silky strands, kissing her hard.

She kissed him back, falling onto the fluffy white comforter with him on top of her. She slid the top button on his shirt out of the buttonhole and his hands went straight to the zipper on the front of her onesie.

She pressed her body to his, needing him close. His hands slid to her bare waist and she felt herself melt under his touch. When it was all over, she curled up beside him, her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his chest lift and fall with every breath, his arm wrapped securely around her.

He presses his lips to her temple. "Merry Christmas."

Ariana wasn't sure when she fell asleep but when she woke, she was alone in bed and Nathan was getting dressed in the dark. She sat up.

"Why are you leaving again?"

Nathan went straight to her, sat down on the bed and cupped her face in his hands. "No, No."

He kissed her forehead. "I was going to wake up you, I promise. I just thought you probably don't want to have to explain this to your family in the morning and I should probably spend at least part of Christmas with mine."

Ariana closed her eyes. She knew he was right, but she didn't want him to be. She didn't want him to go. She'd just gotten him back.

"This won't be like last time," he said as if reading her mind. "I wanna keep this going, us, no matter what it takes. I love you, Ari. I won't lose you again."

She kissed him, tears running slowly down her face. "I love you too."

"I'll see you soon, okay?" He whispered against her hair.

She nodded, her throat too tight for words. Grabbing a robe, she rose and followed him to the front door. As they stood in the entryway once again, Ariana couldn't help but marvel at how much had changed in only a few hours

She tried to pretend she wasn't as scared as she felt inside as she gave his hand a confident squeeze. He kissed her forehead again, lightly, then left a long lingering one on her lips.

"Merry Christmas, angel. We'll talk soon, promise."

Even as Ariana echoed Nathan's holiday greeting, she knew nothing under her tree in the morning could possibly compare to the gift she'd already been given-a second chance at love.

A/N: Alright, that is all for this story. Please take a minute to leave me a comment & let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading :)


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